Tips for co-parenting during Christmas
In our last blog article of 2025, Trevor Gay shares some helpful tips ahead of the Christmas period in relation to arrangements for children.
- Focus on the child’s best interests
Life with children is great but unpredictable. Inevitably during holidays, issues come up and must be resolved between parents despite the best laid plans. I find it is helpful in the middle of any turmoil to take a moment and bring the focus back onto the child. After all, most parents I speak to want their children to continue to flourish. There can be lots of suggestions made by those close to a parent as to what they should do for the best, but ultimately, the law is clear that any judge’s focus will be on what is in the child’s best interests. Effectively trying to score points against the other parent and not being pragmatic or child-centred will not go down well if court proceedings are needed about long term child arrangements.
- Respect your existing agreement
Once arrangements have been made, the child will be expecting those arrangements to happen. We know that these times are difficult for children of separated parents, and one way to minimise their stress is to stick to the agreed arrangements. You may be surprised at how many times one parent has changed arrangements or timings at the last minute. It may have been out of their control, but if not, then going back to the child’s best interests above, what may feel like a temporary victory could have long term negative effects on the child’s mental health.
- Knowledge is key
Uncertainty is a source of stress for most of us, but even more so for a child at Christmas. If plans must change, then the first step after the parents agreeing any amendments is to explain the situation to the child in neutral terms and so that they know what to expect.
- Keep communications open
What if the child says they are missing the other parent? We have so many options for communication these days that make it easy for them to have a quick call or exchange of messages with that parent. The law favours reasonable indirect contact and crucially it will undoubtedly help the child if they can see that parent promoting contact with the other parent and will assist in reducing the possibility of the child feeling as though they are caught in the middle.
